Turning towards each other

When you are having a tough time in your marriage, it is really easy to say “this just is not working out” or assume that you married the wrong person. I know I have had these thoughts at times. As H. Wallace Goddard mentions in his book “Drawing Heaven into your Marriage”, these thoughts are from Satan. He wrote that “As marital irritations accumulate, it is easy to imagine that our marital choice was a hormone-sodden mistake. We forget the affirmations that pushed us toward marriage.” He also talked about how important it was to have an eternal perspective, and that we need to focus on our spouses potential, and not expect perfection.

After reading this, and everything else in the third chapter of his book, I felt very chastened and humbled. I have often given myself the role of the victim in the trials of my marriage, with the belief that it is mostly my husband at fault. After reading this, I realized that I am just as at fault as he is. I realized that I have not been having faith in Christ and God, and in their plan for me. In the really hard times of my marriage, I sometimes thought that I had messed up my life by marrying my husband, and just wanted to get a divorce. I know, it sounds horrible, but when you are having really bad struggles in your marriage, these thoughts come easily. About these thought, Goddard said that “In the grip of such delusions, it seems necessary-even wise-to quit the relationship and start over. ‘I’ll do better the second time.” “My life might be so much better if I had just chosen differently” or “It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if I blew out of this marriage and into one with a better person-perhaps God might even want that for me.” This is Satan at work.”

I did not have the faith that God knew what He was doing when He put my husband and I together, or that putting my faith in Christ could help my husband and I closer together.  Now that I have realized these things, I have decided to work more on myself and on trusting in God.

I understand why a lot of couples would want to divorce and move on when they think that things are just not working out and that they made a mistake. I am very grateful for the gospel, and the marriage covenant, where we can turn to Christ and look to Him for help. If you are having struggles with your marriage, just remember that we can do all things through Christ, including improving our marriages.