10- Central Ideas

There are a lot of different messages in John Gottman’s book “The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work”. To define a central one would be difficult. I think that a big message in Gottman’s book is that there are a lot of misunderstanding about what makes a happy marriage. A lot of people think that married couples have great communication, do not fight a lot, have similar views on many things, do not have any major problems, and do not have continuing issues. This, however, is not true. Couples do not have to communicate well as long as they are able to connect in other ways and you have other skills. It is okay if a couple fights often as long as they are able to successfully recover from their fights. It is fine if couple’s have differing views on very important things as long as they are able to respect each other’s views. It is also okay to have major issues on things is still able to thrive and you have respect for each other. It is also okay to have continuing issues on things. All of these things are marriage myths. I think that the central message of the book is that if you and your spouse work together to do things like avoid the four horsemen, have respect for each other and share your dreams, are willing to yield to your spouse’s influence, and do some other key things that help nurture your marriage.

I believe that the central message or main point of Goddard’s book is to help you bring Christ into your marriage. I think that the most important thing that I learned from Goddard’s book is about repentance, and about not giving into Satan’s delusions about how you married the wrong person, and if you messed up your life forever. I would often give into these delusions myself, and would really struggle with it and feel a lot of pain and despair about having really messing things up. I am thankful that I read this and was able to figure out that I was not doing my marriage any favors by constantly doubting that I had made a bad decision. Once I realized what I was doing to my marriage I realized it is important to have faith in Heavenly Father’s plan.